


and this love we share

by bubblylikesparklingcider



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Harry, F/F, F/M, Healer Draco, International Fanworks Day 2016, M/M, PTSD, Valentine's Day, a little more than implied, implied sex, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 15:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6014113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblylikesparklingcider/pseuds/bubblylikesparklingcider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Healer Malfoy wants Auror Potter to take care of himself. Harry just wants to make it through Valentine's Day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and this love we share

** February, 2001 **

He is the Boy Who Lived and he is praised by all, except he doesn’t want it. He feels fake in his scarlet Auror robes, he feels dumb standing in front of the Ministry to give speeches. And yet everyone wants more of Harry Potter.

 

Rita Skeeter won’t leave him alone, dubbing him, “The Wizarding World’s Most Eligible Bachelor.” Harry contemplates asking Hermione for her help again, but Hermione is busy in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures fighting for the freedom of the house elves

He wants to ask Ron for advice, but Ron is busy with Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes and he can’t bring himself to take that from him. All his friends are grown up and doing great things and Harry can hardly get out of bed in the morning. He smokes cigarettes by the box and leaves his hair unkempt and the wizarding world goes wild when pictures of him appear in  _The Daily Prophet_  because "everyone loves a bad boy.”

 

He’s praised when he throws himself into harm’s way to save his partners, but nobody notices when someone else does it, when someone else gets hurt for their partner.

 

Harry hates it. All of it.

 

/——/——/——/

 

Harry is smoking. His clothes reek of smoke and he's almost certain his house would, too, if Kreacher didn't insist he smoke outside. An empty bottle of fire whisky rests on the table beside him and he closes his eyes against the cool night air.

 

He got back from the hospital this morning, his eighth trip in a month, and he's been avoiding thinking of Draco Malfoy since. Draco, with his beautiful hair and beautiful eyes and beautiful everything. Draco, looking amazing in his Healer's coat, working quickly and efficiently and wonderfully.

 

He's never had Draco before, though he knows that he recently secured the spot of Head Healer at St. Mungo's. But Draco had been the only one to get Harry to accept healing without as much of a fight as usual.

 

Draco sent Harry home with a warning of, "Be good." Not that Harry is planning to obey that. 

 

He drops the empty cigarette box down beside the empty bottle and sighs. 12 Grimmauld Place is quiet behind him. He makes his way back into the house.

 

An owl from Hermione is in the drawing room and Harry quickly opens the letter the owl brought him.

 

_Harry,_

_Next week is Valentine's Day, and Ron and I are having a little get-together to celebrate. It starts at 5 and we'd love it if you could come. Bring someone with you!_

_Hermione_

Harry snorts. As if he would bring someone with him. Hermione and Ron have both hinted that Harry should start dating again (and Ginny has been much more blatant about it) but Harry can't bring himself to. He can't date. He can't bring himself to open up to somebody to the point that they could hurt him.

 

He scrawls out a response accepting the invitation anyway.

 

/——/——/——/

 

The next morning, Harry wakes up to Kreacher beside his bed, urging him to get up.

 

"Kreacher, what is it?" Harry asks groggily, sitting up and rubbing his aching head. 

 

"Master Harry has a visitor." Kreacher says and Harry groans and throws on an acceptable outfit.

 

"Who is it?" Harry asks but Kreacher won't answer him, instead rushing him down the stairs and into the drawing room.

 

Draco Malfoy sits on the couch, looking divine in the morning light streaming through the window.

 

"Malfoy." Harry says coolly. Draco stands up.

 

"Potter." He nods. "How are you feeling? I came to make sure you're recovering well. Sometimes magical healing can have a...strange effect."

 

"Oh." Harry blinks. "I'm fine, I guess."

 

"You don't look healthy." Draco says and Harry scowls at him. "Seriously, Potter. You look pale and underfed. You do eat, right?"

 

"Yes." Harry says shortly. 

 

"So no, then. You should. With how many hospital visits you make, you need to try to keep your health up." Harry's impressed, honestly. "As your Healer, I'm prescribing a week of rest."

 

"Wait, what?" Harry snatches the piece of parchment from Draco's hand. It's an official-looking note made out to the Ministry, advising a week of rest for Chief Auror Potter. "I can't take a week off!"

 

"You can and you should." Draco argues back, his gray eyes flashing. "You're not healthy, Potter, anyone can see that."

 

"No, they can't." Harry mutters under his breath.

 

"Sorry?" Draco asks but Harry waves him off. "Just take that into the Ministry. You need rest."

 

"Fine." Harry says petulantly and Draco allows a small smile.

 

"Good." He says and leaves. 

 

/——/——/——/

 

Harry takes the note in to the Ministry, because as Chief Auror he's top of the Auror Department and has nowhere else to go. He's sent to Shacklebolt, who apparently wants to see Harry anyway, and he makes his way to Shacklebolt's office grumbling about meddling Healers.

 

As soon as he drops the parchment on the desk, Kingsley starts smiling.

 

"So someone finally had the sense to tell you to rest, Harry?" He laughs and Harry shrugs.

 

"Wasn't my first choice." He says and Kingsley looks at him calculatingly.

 

"It's the best choice, though." He says, quietly this time and Harry squirms uncomfortably. "Stay healthy, Harry."

 

/——/——/——/

 

Hermione beams when Harry goes to see her and tells her about his break. She throws her arms around him in a warm embrace.

 

"This is good, Harry!" Hermione says. "You need the break."

 

Apparently everyone except Harry seems to think so, too.

 

/——/——/——/

 

Harry sits at the table as Kreacher puts a chicken pot pie on the table, smiling the whole time.

 

"Master Harry will enjoy his rest." Kreacher says. "Kreacher will make sure of it."

 

/——/——/——/

 

He still has the party to worry about, Harry realizes as he sits reading a novel by Charlus Heron, a wizarding author sensation that Harry became obsessed with after Hermione introduced him to a story he'd written about a young American witch who fell in love with a British wizarding naturalist.

 

He runs a hand down his face with a sigh and wonders if he should just show up by himself. He would, but he doesn't want to get that disappointed look from Hermione again.

 

It's not that Harry doesn't want to date. He just- okay, he does want to date. But the thought of it scares him more than he can handle. He can't take any emotional upheaval right now, not when he still has nightmares, not when he can still hear his mother's voice in his head, not when he can see Fred's face, a laugh still etched on it, even in death.

 

Harry puts the book on the side. He needs a smoke.

 

/——/——/——/

 

Malfoy comes over again the next day to see how Harry's faring. His eyes look beautiful in the sun, like crystalline ice sparkling in the morning sunlight. Harry shakes himself before he can get too school-girl.

 

"You shouldn't smoke." Malfoy tells him, almost gently. Harry rolls his eyes and turns away from him, pushing his box of cigarettes behind a couch cushion. "I saw that, you know."

 

"It doesn't matter if I smoke, Malfoy." Harry says and Malfoy snorts behind him. 

 

"It's unhealthy." Malfoy sighs  then. "Are you eating well?"

 

"Yes, Mum." Harry bites back and a wave of pain at the word washes over him. He doesn't want to think about that. Not now. Not in front of Malfoy.

 

"I was just checking, Potter." Malfoy says. He leaves, then, but Harry's certain he gives Kreacher some whispered instructions on how to help Harry.

 

Harry is almost grateful for it.

 

/——/——/——/

 

Harry is bored. He wants to go to Diagon Alley, but it's so crowded there. Someone would recognize him for sure, and Harry doesn't want that.

 

Instead, he goes to visit Andromeda and Teddy. Teddy sits at the kitchen table and turns his hair into a mass of unruly black locks as soon as he sees Harry. Andromeda smiles softly and Harry takes Teddy into the living room to play.

 

It's surprising, he thinks, that looking at Teddy makes him want to get better and be something more.

 

He thinks of his scarlet Auror robes hanging at home and wonders if maybe this break  _is_  for the best.

 

/——/——/——/

 

Malfoy visits again the next morning and this time Harry is waiting for him with breakfast. It's eggs and bacon and muffins and fruit and Draco smiles when he sees it.

 

"This is good." He says softly as they sit down and Harry would do this all the time just to get Draco to look at him like with that pride.

 

"You're right." Harry says when they've finished and Draco raises a beautiful eyebrow at him. "About my health. I've neglected it. Thank you for helping me."

 

"Of course, Potter." Draco says and Harry smiles at him.

 

/——/——/——/

 

Harry decides to cook again. He hasn't cooked since the Dursleys, but that's not something he likes to dwell on. Now, he has better quality ingredients and he can make better things. Kreacher follows him around the kitchen as Harry makes a tasty smelling soup that he surveys afterwards with pride.

 

It fills his stomach with warmth and he begins to think about that mushroom pie recipe that Luna sent to him a month ago.

 

/——/——/——/

 

Andromeda and Teddy visit him this time, and Teddy makes a funny noise when he finds a box of cigarettes. Harry quickly plucks it out of his hands and asks him if he wants to go outside to fly in his little toy broom.

 

Andromeda tells him afterwards that she is making out paperwork so Teddy will go to Harry as soon as Harry turns twenty-one. She doesn't mention anything about the cigarettes.

 

But that doesn't mean that he doesn't think about it.

 

/——/——/——/

 

Apparently it's dangerous to be around someone who is smoking cigarettes.

 

/——/——/——/

 

The fourth morning that Malfoy visits, Harry makes breakfast again. This time, though, he pushes a box of cigarettes over to Malfoy.

 

"How do I quit?" He asks and Malfoy smiles at him so lovingly that Harry wants to kiss him.

 

He doesn't.

 

/——/——/——/

 

It's hard to quit, it turns out, but Malfoy gives him nicotine patches and tells him it's good for him, so Harry listens. He thinks of his future with Teddy here in 12 Grimmauld Place and it helps because it's a goal.

 

He doesn't want to jeopardize Teddy's health. Teddy is a little ball of sunshine and warmth and beauty like his mother despite how much he looks like Remus. Harry thinks of Remus and how he scolded him for leaving his son and decides he has to be better for Teddy.

 

/——/——/——/

 

Harry thinks of Draco that night, laying in bed. He's opening up to him, in a way, and he can't have that. He doesn't want that. But he wants Draco.

 

Maybe.

 

He feels confused and alone and he wonders if shutting himself off is really for the best.

 

/——/——/——/

 

The fifth morning, Harry sits across from Draco at the table and watches him. The curve of his cheekbone, the beauty of his lips, the shine in his eyes.

 

Draco is telling him an amusing story about a patient that came in because they accidentally Transfigured their nose into an elephant trunk and couldn't turn it back. Harry laughs but his mind is on Draco and he wonders how long this has been happening to him.

 

He wants to talk to him.

 

/——/——/——/

 

The problem with shutting your heart away from the world, Harry thinks, is that it never really works. In the end, someone will come along and capture your heart and all you need is them.

 

Draco is that someone.

 

Harry cries himself to sleep that night and has nightmares of Draco being tortured.

 

/——/——/——/

 

The sixth morning, Harry pushes Draco up against a wall as soon as he enters the house and kisses him.

 

"Wow." Draco breathes and Harry kisses him again. Draco kisses him back with such ferocity that Harry is suddenly glad that he did this.

 

They don't have breakfast. They have sex instead.

 

/——/——/——/

 

They lay in bed together afterwards, Harry's hand tracing small circles on Draco's shoulder and they talk.

 

"I never wanted to put myself out there after Voldemort." Harry says softly. "I didn't- I don't know. I guess all the shit in my life caught up to me eventually."

 

"I didn't want to deal with people after the Battle." Draco responds. "It was Luna that pulled me out of it."

 

"Good old Luna."

 

"Yes, good old Luna. She told me that my past didn't define me and that I could be anything I wanted. I wanted to help people, so I became a Healer." 

 

"I still have nightmares about the Battle." Harry says. "The dust in my throat, realizing that I had to die, going into the Forest to meet Voldemort."

 

"You knew you had to die?" Draco asks, his grey eyes filling up with worry.

 

"Yeah. I just- I knew." He doesn't tell Draco about Snape's memories. "I was scared. I was  _terrified_. I was a Horcrux, and so if I lived, Voldemort lived."

 

Draco makes a small noise of pity.

 

"I couldn't think of Voldemort killing everyone because I was selfish enough to want to live." Harry sighs. "I couldn't think of Hermione and Ron and Ginny and Luna and you all dying because I was a coward."

 

"Harry," Draco says, sitting up. "Harry. You're not- it's not selfish or cowardly to want to live. It's normal. Of course you wanted to live. You were a seventeen-year-old boy."

 

"I accepted it, though." Harry says and Draco nods.

 

"Of course you did." He nestles back down into Harry's arms and Harry feels an overwhelming sense of belonging. 

 

"Thank you." Harry whispers into Draco's hair and Draco turns to him.

 

"What for?"

 

"For caring."

 

/——/——/——/

 

"Go to this party with me?" Harry asks, waving Hermione's invitation in front of Draco's face. Draco narrows his eyes at it and looks up at Harry.

 

"Your friends don't like me much." He says and Harry shrugs.

 

"So? Ginny'll at least accept you. She's always harping on me to date someone." Draco looks confused. "Ginny knew I was gay before I did, I think. We tried dating after the Battle and it didn't work. She's my sister, practically, so don't be surprised if she threatens to hex you."

 

"What about your other friends?" Draco asks and Harry laughs.

 

"I think it'll be fine." He says and Draco nods and kisses him.

 

/——/——/——/

 

It's Valentine's Day and Harry threads his fingers through Draco's as they approach the Weasley house. The door flies open to reveal Luna standing in the doorway, Ginny behind her.

 

"I knew it." Luna proclaims proudly and Ginny sighs and hands her a Galleon.

 

"Hi, Harry. Hi, Draco." Luna says before turning around and going back in. Ginny looks between the two of them and then focuses on Draco.

 

"Glad to see that you two finally got your shit together and realized that Hogwarts was all sexual tension." She says. "If you hurt him, Malfoy, I will hex your balls off."

 

"I would never hurt him." Draco says quietly and Ginny smiles and leads them into the house.

 

"Harry!" Hermione cries as soon as they walk in, throwing her arms around him. She turns to Draco then and her smile falters as she takes them in. Finally, she turns back to Harry. "Are you happy?"

 

"Yes." Harry responds and Hermione nods.

 

"That's all we can ask, then. Hello, Draco." Hermione says and hugs him. Ron comes up behind her.

 

"Harry, mate." He says and they shake hands. He looks at Draco calculatingly and then says, "Don't hurt him. George and I can invent pranks that will make sure that you can't sit down for weeks if you hurt him."

 

"I love him too much to do that." Draco says and Harry feels so right. He snuggles up into Draco's side and Draco wraps an arm around him.

 

"I swear," Ginny complains. "I don't think they've even been together a week and they're already having public sex."

 

"It's not sex, Ginny." Luna says, kissing Ginny on the cheek and Ginny turns red. Harry stares at her.

 

"Ginevra Weasley." He says, shocked and Ginny blushes even more. 

 

"We didn't want to say anything." Ginny says and Ron laughs.

 

"You're going to have to put up with a lot of weird shit if you're gonna date Harry, Draco." Ron says and Draco laughs as well.

 

"Shut  _up_." Ginny groans and hides her face in Luna's shoulder.

 

It's not perfect, Harry thinks. He and Draco have a long way to go. But it's good. And he's happy for it.

 

"Happy Valentine's Day, love." He whispers into Draco's ear as they sit down to dinner. "Happy Valentine's Day."


End file.
